Billie
by Ebony Witch
Summary: Billie McBride is a new she-kat in Megakat City. She's a tourist from the country, so she does tourist things. She hooks up at a fancy, expensive hotel with expectations of a nice relaxing vacation. WRONG! Sorry Billie. Take it up with the SWAT Kats.
1. Billie McBride

Chapter 1: Billie McBride  
  
The orange she-kat killed the gas of her Harley Davison motorcycle when she reached the Krystal Kat hotel. She kicked down the bike stand and removed her leather gloves as she walked through the revolving door.  
"May I help you, miss?" an old tom asked.  
"Yessir," she answered, brushing her dark brown bangs out of her face. "Any rooms available?"  
"Yes ma'am. We have one suite left and we're full up!" the tom answered.  
"Man, this SWAT Kat fever has gone off the deep end," she said. "This is the sixth hotel I've tried. How much per suite. Ya know what, don' tell me. Here." She handed the tom a credit card and looked around the room.  
The hotel was expensive, she could tell by the crystal chandeliers and the men, women and children in elegant, nighttime clothing.  
Shoot, she thought, I look like somethin' the dog dragged in.  
The she-kat looked down at her clothes. She was dressed casually in her gray-hooded coat, tight fighting navy blue shirt and baggy brown cargo pants. The only fancy thing she had on her was the gold necklace with a crystal pendent carved in the shape of the Egyptian goddess Bastet.  
"I'll need your name, miss."  
"Huh? Oh. It's Billie. Billie McBride," she replied.  
"Well, thank you Miss McBride. If you have any luggage you can leave it here by the desk. You're in room 602. Enjoy your stay at the Krystal kat hotel."  
"Will do, thanks!" Billie called back, taking the keycard and walking over to the elevator.  
She pressed the up button and waited.  
"Excuse me, miss!" someone behind her called.  
Billie turned around. A not so tall tomcat with brown fur was walking her way.  
"Yessir?" she asked.  
"Is that your bike outside?" the tom asked.  
"Yeah, why?"  
"My buddy an' I just thought you might wanna know that that's a tow away zone. We've been called twice about it. If you could move it, that'd me great," the tom answered.  
"Done," Billie said.  
She and the tom walked out together. There was another one in the truck. He was the complete opposite of his partner—burly and tall. His fur was gold and he looked like he could beat the pajeebers out of almost anybody.  
"You find 'im Jake?" the gold tom asked.  
"Yeah, I found her," Jake replied.  
"Good. Hate to tow away that baby."  
Billie looked at the tom in the truck.  
"Can I help you, miss?" he asked.  
Billie shook her head.  
"I'm Billie McBride," she introduced herself.  
"Chance Furlong," the tom told her. "My buddy, Jake."  
  
"Jake Clawson," Jake corrected.  
"What do you guys do for a living?" Billie asked.  
"We...salvage," Chance answered.  
"You what?"  
"Long story. We gotta go. See ya 'round, Billie."  
  
"Bye!" Billie waved as the two drove off.  
  
Up in her room, Billie walked over to her bed and fell face first into the pillows. She breathed in the smell of the room...pine. She turned up on her back and looked at the ceiling. Ever since they had met, she couldn't stop thinking of Chance. It was driving her insane.  
She turned on the TV. News, news, lame game show, guy with wig, soap opera. She switched it off. Nothing good. Maybe a bath...  
She took her gray coat off and threw it on the floor next to the night table. She took off her blue shirt and threw it on the floor next to her coat.  
Then she remembered.  
"The window." She walked over to the window and looked out over Megakat City. "No one can see me up here," she decided. She left the window open. She was, after all, on the tenth floor of the building. You'd need to be a bird to see through it...either a bird or a plane. And that's exactly how they saw her.  
"T-Bone! She's half naked!" Razor yelled.  
Billie turned to the window and screamed. Thank god she was wearing a bra.  
She grabbed a pillow off her bed and threw it at Razor. "GET OUT!" she screamed. "If you weren't driving, you'd have a pillow in your face too!"  
"Miss! Calm down! You gotta come with us!" Razor said.  
"Give me one good reason!" she said.  
"The building's on fire!" T-Bone replied.  
"Good enough for me. But I'm getting dressed!"  
"THE BUILDING'S ON FIRE!"  
"I refuse to go down half naked thanks!"  
"BUT THE BUILDING—IT'S ON FIRE!"  
  
"THE BUILDING COULD BE FULL OF POISON GAS FOR ALL I CARE BUT I STILL WOULD NOT GO DOWN HALF NAKED!"  
"Women," T-Bone mumbled.  
"Tom's don't have anything to hide on their chests, do they?" Billie asked. "And my name's Billie, by the way."  
"Introductions later! Please, Miss Billie, get dressed and come down!" Razor begged.  
"Will do." Billie pulled her shirt back on and grabbed her jacket. She jumped in the co-pilot's seat with Razor and they flew back down.  
"There goes my bath," she said.  
"There coulda gone your life," T-Bone added.  
"When you put it that way, losing a shower doesn't sound so bad."  
Billie hopped out of the cockpit and pulled on her jacket. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.  
There was a deafening thud. The earth shook.  
Billie, Razor and T-Bone turned around. The building had collapsed.  
"That was too close for comfort," Razor pointed out.  
Billie and Chance nodded.  
"Hey, it coulda been worse," Billie added.  
"How could it possibly have been worse? The building come down on top of us?" T-Bone asked.  
"No. My pants coulda been off. But that's pretty bad, too."  
"So. Where are you gonna stay?" Razor asked.  
"No idea. I'll find another hotel, I guess," Billie answered.  
"Or you could stay with a some friends of ours at the salvage yard," Chance requested. "You think they would mind?" Billie asked.  
"No, they won't mind," Razor answered.  
"Hey—they're the car-fixit guys, right?" Billie asked.  
"Yeah, that's them—I think," T-Bone answered.  
"I know them!" Billie said happily. "Chance and Jake?"  
"Yup," Razor answered.  
"Cool! Don't tell hi, but I think I have a major crush on Chance."  
"Really?" T-Bone smirked.  
"Swear you won't tell?"  
"Yeah. We swear," Jake replied. "Right T-Bone?" Jake smiled.  
"Yeah, sure," T-Bone answered. "But you should tell him. He thinks you're pretty."  
"Really?" Billie asked.  
"Yeah. Don't tell him I told you or I'm toast."  
"Okay. A secret for a secret." 


	2. Ruff Day?

Chapter 2:  
  
"Well, we're off. The guys aren't here right now, but they should be back in a few minutes," Razor said. Billie jumped out of the cockpit and waved good bye. "Later guys!" she called as the canopy closed and the jet took off once more. "Nice guys," she said to herself. "Kinda remind me of some one though. Now who could possibly remind me of the SWAT Kats? Hah! That's moronic. Someone reminding me of the SWAT Kats. Ha ha! Okay, I'm done." Billie stood in the center of the room, looking around at the contents of the room. "I'll just stand here 'till they get back," she decided. Ten minutes later, Chance and Jake walked through the front door. "Hey guys," Billie said nervously. "Hey Billie. Heard your hotel was burnt to the ground. T-Bone an' Razor said they dropped you off here. You okay?" Chance asked. Billie nodded. "They caught me off guard."  
  
"Yeah, we heard about that," Jake laughed. "Sit down, kid," Chance ordered. Billie sat down on the couch and stared at Chance. "What?" he asked. "Did they tell you...anything else?" Billie answered. "Only that you left your motorcycle at the Krystal Kat. Should there be anything else?" Jake asked. "No. Nadda. Yer good," Billie replied, folding her hands on her lap. She sighed and silently thanked T-Bone and Razor. "Well, we gotta get to work. We picked up yer motorcycle, it's out in the garage, go—buy some clothes or something," Chance said as he exited out the back door. "Yeah, sure, clothes," Billie confirmed. "Later." Jake patted her on the back. "Good luck," he said. "Good luck? In what?" Billie asked. "Your...uh...shopping," he stuttered. "See ya." Jake closed the door behind him. THUD Billie fell in a heap on the floor. "AH! We're breathing the same air!" She jumped back on her feet and ran her paw through her hair. "Gotta relax," she told herself. "Okay. I'm alone. In his space. What do I do?" Find his room! Find his room! her mind screamed. And read his diary! "NO! Ever herd of personal space?" she told herself. "Besides, I don't think he keeps one." Darn. "You know what? I'm going shopping," Billie said to herself. She felt her back pocket. Check wallet. All set. Charge! She mounted her motorcycle and sped away. She waved good bye to Chance and Jake when she left—although they probably didn't see her because they had their heads under the cars. She sped down the road and turned the corner. "HOLY FRIGGIN HELL!" she screamed. An enforcer car had been driving on the wrong side of the road, and she crashed head on into it. She-kat and bike flew sky high. Billie flew into the side of a cliff and her bike—let's just say, "Poor bike." She gasped. "My bike! Alas, poor David, I knew him well. He was a good bike. Then some guy comes and KILLS HIM!" she screamed. She turned around and her jaw dropped. The enforcer didn't even stop to see if she was okay. "I HATE the law! Thank Bast I didn't grow up to be a lawyer," she mumbled as she started her trip back to the salvage yard. When she arrived, she hurt all over and wanted to flop down onto the couch—but noooo. "Hey!" she said, walking up to Chance and Jake and the harassing enforcer. "What's enforcer fancy pants doing here?"  
  
"Feral, McBride. McBride, Feral," Chance introduced. "You're the guy that ran me off the road!" she screamed. "You what?!" Chance and Jake asked. "You better pay for that motorcycle! It's totally dead and I just got it!" "I'm not paying for anything," Feral said. "We'll see about that, pink socks!" Billie said. She stormed inside the house and slammed the door and fell face first onto the couch...only she missed the couch and fell face first onto the floor. "No body saw that," she said to herself. "Don't be so sure, my little pigeon." Billie got up and brushed herself off, then looked around the room. "Who's there?" she asked. "I am your worst nightmare," said the small figure, emerging from the shadows. "I'm sorry. I'm not scared of little gnomes from hell. Get a spider, then you can scare me. Now, Mr. Gnome, go away," Billie said, falling into the cousins. "You dare to speak to the Past Master that way!" he screamed. "Past Master, Present Master, Future Master. I'll talk to them all the same way, gnome. Go away."  
  
"That no good rotten son of a—," Chance complained as he walked into the room, followed shortly by Jake. "I can't believe he ran you off the road, Billie. Billie?" "Hey Chance," Jake said, walking over to the couch. He picked up a note that was quickly scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. "Take a look at this." "What is it?" he asked. "It says, 'Dear katizens, I have taken the big mouth girl. If you ever wish to see her again, the SWAT Kats must come for her. I have left clues to where I am hiding her.' What do you think?" Jake asked. "I think she's had a ruff day. First fire, then crash, then kidnapped," Chance said, sitting down on the sofa. "Ow! What in kat's name is—a pineapple! What the hell's a pineapple doing in our couch!" "Hey, it's got a note on it," Jake observed. "Yeah, uh, "Dear guys, sorry. I figured you couldn't miss a pineapple. Anyway, I was kidnapped by a freakish gnome from hell and taken to an abandoned mine...at least that's what he told me. Come save me, signed, Billie.'" "Sounds like the Past Master," Jake said. "Or the creeplings," Chance added. Jake sighed. "Well, let's go save her," 


	3. Shekat in distress…again

Chapter 3: She-kat in distress...again  
  
"So, what's the plan again?" Billie asked.  
The Past Master glared at her.  
"Right...no talking...could I at least not be upside down? All the blood is rushing to my head and it doesn't feel very good," Billie told him.  
"NO! What's done is done and that's how it's gonna stay!" the Past Master snapped.  
"Okay, sheeze." Billie looked at her situation. Hanging upside down over a tank of melted iron...not very good. So she did the first thing that came to her mind:  
"In the cold breeze that I walk along. The memories, the generation burned within me," she sang.  
"What are you doing?!" the Past Master asked.  
"Singin'," Billie answered.  
"What are you singing?!"  
"Wolf's Rain."  
  
"Well, stop!"  
"Can I hum?" Billie asked.  
"NO!" the Past Master barked.  
"Fine!" So she whistled.  
"STOP IT!" Past Master begged. "STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!"  
"Geeze, Pasty, don't be so touchy. All you have to do is say please!"  
  
"You are testing my patience, she-kat!" he snapped. "I will not hesitate to kill you!"  
There was a brief pause between the two of them, then Billie said, "You hesitated." 

* * *

"Where did she say we had to go?" T-Bone asked.  
"Abandoned mine...probly the same old dusty mine that the Past Master used to bring those mummies to life," Razor said.  
"Right. Let's head that way first?" T-Bone asked.  
"Yeah," Razor confirmed.

* * *

Billie sighed.  
"I'm board!" she announced.  
"Good for you," the Past Master said. He had had it up to yin-yang with this girl.  
"Can you tell me a story?" she asked.  
"What? No!" the Past Master answered.  
"Fine. Up for a game of Black Jack?" she asked.

* * *

"Okay, we're here. The abandoned mine. Now what?" T-Bone asked.  
"We go inside," Razor answered.  
"Gee. I coulda figured that out myself!"  
"Common, T-Bone." Razor went in first. "This is too easy," he observed when they were a little ways in.  
"Yeah, there's gotta be some sorta trap...right?" T-Bone asked.  
"There should be," Razor answered. "Just keep your eyes peeled."  
"Uh, Razor," T-Bone started.  
"Yeah?" Razor asked as he cautiously continued into the tunnel.  
"I think we found our trap!"

* * *

"Eighteen!" the Past Mater said, flipping his cards open. "Beat that, she-kat!"  
Billie smirked and slowly flipped open her two cards. "Twenty-one. I win...again."  
"Oh for Kat's sake," the Past Master sighed. "Let's play another game."  
"How's Bull sound to you?" Billie asked.  
"Fine, we'll play Bull. Hurry up and deal the stupid cards."

* * *

"What is that thing?!" Razor asked as he avoided a swipe from the giant insect thing.  
"Looks like a cross between a praying mantas and...something else!" T- Bone answered as he fired his glovatrix at the giant bug attacking his best friend. "I HATE bugs!"  
"T-Bone, look out!" Razor warned.  
T-Bone dogged the bug-thing's long, scaly tail and jumped on its back. He pulled out a knife and shoved it into the creature's back. It bounced of the hard exoskeleton.  
"For kats sake, does this thing ever die?" he asked.  
"I have an idea!" Razor announced. "Throw me the knife!"  
T-Bone passed the blade to his partner just as the bug threw itself up against the wall in an attempt to throw him off.

* * *

"Elephant!" Billie called.  
"No! It's a duck! A duck!" the Past Master corrected. "Tell me again why we're playing sherades?"  
"I dunno, you're the one who wanted to. I suck at sherades," Billie answered.  
"Tell me about it," the Past Master mumbled. He walked to one of the monitors and saw the SWAT Kats fighting one of his monsters. "Okay, they're here, back over the tank of boiling metal substance," the Past Master ordered.  
"But I don' wanna go back over the tank of boiling metal substance!" Billie complained.  
"Too bad," the Past Master answered.  
"You're being mean," she said flatly.  
"Live with it, sweet cheeks."  
"You're making me mad."  
"You'll get over it."  
  
"You don't wanna make me mad," Billie said. She put her hands around her crystal Bastet charm and muttered a few words. She was surrounded by a blinding white light...

* * *

Razor plunged the dagger into the beast's underbelly. It shrieked and the mine started to shake. Rocks fell from the ceiling.  
"T-Bone, hurry!" Razor pulled his stunned partner to his feet and they both ran as fast as they could out of the section of the mine where the insect was dying. The mine collapsed behind them. "Great," T-Bone said sarcastically. "Now how're we supposed to get outta here?" "We'll figure that out later. Right now, worry about Billie. Who knows what the Past Master's done to her?" Razor asked. "Or what she's done to the Past Master."

* * *

The light faded and a whole new Billie stood in front of him.  
Instead of the jacket and the tight-fitting blue top, she wore a blue top with one long sleeve and the other was short and revealed her shoulder.  
  
Her hands now were clothed with complex black-leather gloves and in place of her pants was a short, cheer-style red skirt.  
Her black and white sneakers had materialized and were replaced by one red and one blue above-the-knee boots.  
Her gold eyes were hidden behind a black mask.  
She raised her paws over her head.  
"You do not want to make me angry!" she repeated, more fiercely. She threw her hands down and a light blue ball of energy flew from them.  
It hit the Past Master head on and he flew into the control panel behind him.

* * *

The SWAT Kats raced threw the tunnel toward the crash. They could see the opening, but they still had a ways to go.  
Please let that be the Past Master and not the Kid! T-Bone silently begged.  
They reached the tunnel entrance and saw something that surprised them very much.

* * *

Billie hovered over the Past Master, who lay in a heap on the floor.  
"I warned you not to make me angry," she said wickedly. She smirked and looked toward the entrance. She saw the SWAT Kats standing breathlessly, watching her.  
"Billie?" T-Bone asked.  
"Hey guys!" she said happily. T-Bone smiled. Yup, he thought, that's Billie. "I see you don't need any rescuing, huh?" Razor asked. "Oh, I still need to be rescued. I dunno the way outta here." T-Bone and Razor laughed. "Let's go home," Razor said. "Okay!" Billie answered. She bent down over the motionless figure of the Past Master and put her hands above his head. A white ball of energy found it's way down to his body and disappeared inside him.  
"Now we can go home," she said.  
"What'd you do?" T-Bone asked.  
"Erase his memory," Billie said. "Can I still stay with you guys?"  
"What's wrong with Chance and Jake?" Razor asked.  
"You are Chance and Jake," Billie answered.  
"What?!" T-Bone asked. "How long have you known?"  
  
"Since just now," she answered. "So can I?"  
"Yeah," the toms answered in unison.  
"Just one thing," T-Bone added.  
"What's that?" Billie asked.  
"No more pineapples in the couch."  
  
**Finished!**

I finaly finished something! This is one of the only stories i have ever finished, so I hope you liked it. Have a nice day/night!


End file.
